How to Argue Against Feedback: Free Writing Advice

Continuing my series on free writing advice for aspiring authors, I explore practical methods for deflecting negative feedback after soliciting a peer review of your work. In the noble quest for feedback on one's literary endeavors, the primary objective should be compliments and admiration. Anything less than an outpouring of praise ought to be dismissed as a manifestation of the critic's lamentable ignorance.

Below are some fundamental principles I employ to staunchly resist constructive criticism, which you may find helpful in maintaining your creative vision:

Perfect as it is:

To entertain the notion of improvement is to cast doubt upon the divine nature of my literary revelations. I stand firm in the belief that my work is a paragon of perfection, untouched by the blemishes that the unworthy might perceive. Any suggestion to the contrary is an insult to artistic integrity itself. 

I advise aspiring writers to embrace an unwavering belief in the infallibility of their work. Confidence is not just a shield; it's a mighty sword that cuts down the weeds of criticism.

You are Jealous:

The inability to create masterful artistry prompts misguided souls to adopt a critical stance when considering my work; their negative appraisal is a futile coping mechanism for masking their failure to produce anything remotely comparable to my genius.

So, what have you published?:  

It is only fair to question the qualifications of those daring to pass judgment on my literary prowess. Before entertaining their misguided feedback, I inquire: How many international bestsellers adorn their literary portfolio? One may dismiss their critique if their endeavors have not graced the prestigious realms of global recognition.

I ask for writing samples from folk providing feedback; I challenge them to present evidence of their writing triumphs before daring to cast shadows on the brilliance that emanates from my pen. I switch the narrative from a critique of my writing to a criticism of theirs.

Artistic Enigma: 

My writing is an enigma. Look beyond my words and into the deeper layers, for it is there where my genius dwells. I combine words with originality, using them in new and unique ways, and often bending their original meaning to my will. Even the so-called rules of the language do my apply to my innovative prose.

I craft layered works with multiple insightful meanings that few readers are intelligent enough to comprehend.

I am not a magician who reveals tricks but a writer who leaves readers in awe of deliberate, perpetual ambiguity and dazzling artistic expression.

The World is Not Ready: 

Contemporary feedback is like tasting a vintage wine before it reaches its full potential. My prose will age gracefully in the literary cellar of time, for the world is not yet ready for my vision. Future generations will applaud me loudly. I am ahead of my time.

The Foolish Feedback Provider:

The audacity of those who dare criticize my masterpieces! It is abundantly clear that anyone unable to appreciate the transcendent nature of my prose must be lacking the cognitive prowess required to appreciate true genius. Their feeble attempts at feedback are akin to a befuddled rat attempting to grasp quantum physics. If feedback suggests confusion or misinterpretation, blame the reader for their lack of intellectual prowess; their minuscule intellect prevented them from grasping the profound complexity of your narrative.

The Shakespearean Defense: 

Shakespeare never revised his work based on feedback, so why should I? Did Shakespeare have a Twitter poll to decide if Hamlet should have a happy ending? I think not. The writer always knows best. I know best.

Intentionality Unclear: 

I intentionally leave plot holes and unresolved character arcs to keep readers guessing. Editing to make the plot logical and consistent could inadvertently provide sensible answers, shattering the beautiful uncertainty that I've meticulously crafted.

Readership as a Socratic Dialogue: 

I invite readers to engage in a Socratic dialogue with my work. Who am I to say what it means? Let the readers debate the profound meaning of each sentence in scholarly forums. I need not craft a sensible narrative or one that aligns with your insecure need for clarity; it's up to mature readers to unravel my story as they see fit. 

Future International Triumph: 

My work is on the brink of international success, set to rival Harry Potter and Top Gun in sales and cinematic glory. Your current criticism pales compared to the impending accolades and triumphs my work will achieve. Just wait and witness the unprecedented success that will render your critique irrelevant.

Creative Typos: 

Feedback may highlight typos and grammatical errors, but what if those are intentional, avant-garde stylistic choices? My misspellings and incorrect grammar are the key to unlocking a new form of linguistic expression.

The Mythical Muse: 

I rely on the unpredictable whims of my mythical muse. If I alter my writing based on feedback, I risk displeasing this capricious creative force that guides my pen.

Resistance to Conformity: 

Conformity is the enemy of innovation and originality. By adamantly arguing against your negative feedback, I am bravely standing against the oppressive forces of improvement, boldly declaring that my writing is perfect just the way it is.

Conformity is a capitalist construct and a repressive communist plot.

Conclusion:

By adopting these principles, you can fortify your resolve against the onslaught of constructive criticism, ensuring that your literary creations remain untarnished monuments to your artistic ego.

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