There is no point being overly logical about marriage. If you plan to tie the knot, then don’t overthink it. Just brush off your concerns and dive in! Here are five pre-marital concerns you can stop worrying about today!
“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” - Oscar Wilde
1: Not Human
Plenty of people fall in love with and marry bridges, cars, walls, plastic wrapping, fishhooks and all sorts of crap. So if your partner doesn’t seem entirely human, then that’s ok.
You want a dozen kids, your fiance wants none…I won’t worry about that…Family plan until your calendar bleeds and still shit just happens, or doesn’t.
He shoots blanks…she is a medical mystery and still falls pregnant when apparently on the pill…talk about kids all you want, mark it out on the yearly planner with a big, bold tick, and it’s still a roll of the dice.
3: Drugs & Alcohol
A lot of successful relationships are based on drugs. The bonding power of codependent addiction is often looked down on by marriage councillors, but they’re just not hip.
Join your partner in snotting, smoking or injecting the substance of their choice, and you’ll be in for a long and happy marriage.
A partner who can support a thousand-dollar-a-week heroin habit has entrepreneurial talents that you’re sure to appreciate.
If your sweetheart shows signs of unfaithfulness during courtship, then they’re unlikely to be faithful after marriage. But so what? Just accept affairs will be the norm and take the plunge!
Commitment should not be confused with the delusional notion that sexual attraction is exclusive between two people. Now, of course, being attracted to someone outside marriage is one thing, and acting on it is another, but if it itches then scratch it! Otherwise, the itch will just drive you or your partner mad.
An affair is only devastating in a marriage if you decide you want to be devastated. Otherwise, it’s just no big deal. Call it freedom instead of cheating and drop the egotistical idea that you can completely satisfy another human being all the time.
Otherwise, you’re sentenced to thirty or forty years of shagging only the one person you’re married to. Good luck with that!
5: Serial Killing Sprees
Carole Boone gave Ted Bundy the benefit of the doubt. She tied the knot with the notorious serial killer while he was on trial for multiple counts of murder. They even had a child together, conceived while he was behind bars. Bundy was a charmer, charismatic and something of a romantic towards the favoured women in his life—those he didn’t kill. Everyone needs a hobby, and murder is less expensive than scuba-diving or skiing. So as long as you spouse they wash off the blood before coming home, and keep their violent rampages sprees out of the family, then it shouldn’t be a problem in marriage.