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People Who Vomit

I identify as a person who vomits. Partaking in a good old fashioned heave now and then is central to my persona. Sadly, however, society remains largely ignorant of what it means to be a vomiter.

Distinguishing between folk who vomit and those who don't is fraught with misunderstanding.

You may have heard it said that everyone vomits; such slander is hurtful. It is a violent claim that seeks to diminish, if not entirely dismiss those of us who ground our existence in vomiting.

"Everyone Vomits" is discriminatory rhetoric that hides cowardly under the deceptive cover of fact.

Just because you may vomit from time to time, it does not follow that you are a vomiter. Likewise, if I were to have occasional sex with men, it wouldn't necessarily mean I'm gay. After all, it's not physical acts that define us but the accompanying attitude.

One who vomits without passion, conviction, and eager anticipation, really isn't a person who vomits; this is merely someone who involuntary heaves according to a physical reflex.

Do you look forward to vomiting? Do you surf the web seeking photos of chunder? Do you keep jars of your best spew in the refrigerator to show off to relatives? If so, then you are a person who vomits!

The anti-vomiting establishment perpetuates misconceptions about vomiting. Non-vomiters have managed to infiltrate the vomiting community and influence the impressionable among us.

The vomiting community is now a fractured and self-loathing facet of society. I've even been told by other vomiters that I'm not a real vomiter simply because I can go months without throwing up.

One can have never vomited and still be a person who vomits, just as one can be a virgin and still know they are straight, gay or otherwise. Likewise, a person may vomit profusely may still not identify as a person who vomits.

I knew from an early age that I was a vomiter. I vomited as a baby. Then as a child, nothing felt better than letting rip with an explosive projectile from the bottom of my stomach.

One knows deep within their guts if they are a vomiter. Furthermore, nobody has the right to declare on behalf of another if they're a non-vomiter, no matter how long a period one chooses to abstain from vomiting.

On the other hand, the People who Fart are a little crazy. Don't be fooled by their bogus claims of deserving unique status within society. The farting folk are delusional and dangerous. In their quest to be placed on a pedestal, the people who fart do damage to those of us who vomit. The farting fraternity trivializes vomiters fight for acceptance by pushing their ridiculous calls for social distinction.

Stand beside The People who Vomit as we spread our spew, and step back from the stench of The People who Fart!



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